Has sex become a tired old routine? If you’re floundering in the bedroom
and want to make bed-time count, there’s a few skills you really need to learn .
Sex is part of the way we express ourselves with intimacy and we want to be comfortable in the way we are expressing this part of ourselves. We also want our partner to respond favorably to our sexual interest in them.
Women love to be entertained and aroused, and usually rely on the man to make things interesting. So take control of the situation. Show her how you can make her sizzle at will. Demonstrate that you are the guy who can give her the best time in the world.
Ignite her passion and yours at the same time its not as hard as you think and its a whole lot of fun. All it takes is some preparation and a desire to make things work.
Tips for igniting the passion in your relationship
Have you noticed how you can feel almost invincible when you get surges of passion running through you? When energy becomes focused on something or someone, you can get very excited about a situation.
The opposite is when you are drawing away and feeing a bit powerless that’s when your energy is down.
Passion can ignite you on the spur of the moment. So if you stop and think about it passion is quite a powerful feeling. When passion fills you it can be quite overwhelming as though the energy is cascading through you like a rush that feels invigorating for some time.
Sexual passion is a heightened sense of desire, fuelled by raw personal energy, and is the powerful driving force behind your intent and actions. We think that its our partner/lover that is responsible for causing these energy surges, but it is fact you and only you who causes this feeling.
We are not normally aware that we can activate the feeling of passion by ourselves “at will” and instead, and its generally accepted that it is someone else or something else that is in control of our passion. After all isn’t that what happens when you go to a party ? You are looking forward to the outing or party because it’s going to make you feel good, and give you a bit of a rush.
Preparing for a passionate evening is not unlike preparing a fine meal. You prepare the ingredients and simply follow your recipe. You take care to plan everything carefully, set the mood and then simply go through the motions.
The environment or situation that you prepare for your partner/lover is going to have a big effect on her, and you want her to easily get into a relaxed mood to have a great night.
Setting up your special night with a partner is all about creating a special ambiance, with music, food, conversation, a pleasant or surprising location and “yourself” of course. Treat your day or evening with your partner as though preparing for a party by getting into the mood. . . .
You set-up the “passion atmosphere” by bringing exciting thoughts into play.
The “party” unfolds slowly, so too you want to take things slowly and not to rush. Patience is everything. Women see patient men as being strong and in control of themselves. By rushing or pushing things too fast gives the impression that you are inconsiderate and unsure of yourself. Be aware the signals your partner is giving you. Don’t rush in and spoil what might be developing slowly.
Trust your senses. When the day or evening is progressing smoothly you a clear indication that you are succeeding with ‘your plan’.
When your “party feelings” begin to surface we begin to feel at ease and relax more, our defenses drop, you feel freer within yourself and enjoy the relaxation more fully. Sexual passion is the same.
If you are comfortable with yourself you will find that your partner will be comfortable with you too. One follows the other. Always be mindful and ensure that your partner is comfortable with how far you go.
Once again by being aware of your partners signals, you avoid taking the wrong turn and spending the rest of the evening alone and wondering where you went wrong.
Sexual mastery comes with practice.
Sexual mastery is a set of skills that can be learnt. By practicing these skills you will (over time) get better and better. To start, you need to learn the effect that your words and actions have on your partner/lover. You need to learn how to read your partners signals accurately. It is the difference between success and failure.
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner how she is feeling or if she is enjoying whatever you are “serving up” for your eventful evening. She will not only see you as being very considerate but it also opens up deeper levels of communication between both of you.
Men often feel uncomfortable asking questions such as “am I dong it right” during sexual interaction. If you don’t ask you will never progress beyond what you know. So ask if you want to learn, grow and improve yourself. Be aware that acts of intimacy are not just about your pleasure, its also about knowing if your lover had as good a time as you.
Compare the situation to having a massage. You would most likely prefer to go out and pay for a massage than have someone massage you with no sensitivity or care. When the person massaging has no sensitivity it feels quite course and gives the impression that they have no idea what they’re doing. You can sense that the other person is not present, “in the moment with you”. . . .
So be present with all you involve yourself in, and you will see the big difference this makes to your love life and sexual mastery.
Idly talking about something irrelevant or distracting that moment by switching t.v. changes the mood, when you do this . . . suddenly it will feel flat and you will be wondering what happened. . .
The more thought energy you put in, the quicker & greater the rewards
You will enjoy yourself more when you have put your energy into it and you will feel the difference the next day. You will find you are more satisfied with yourself and the whole night. And this applies to other things outside the bedroom that we put all of ourselves into.
Tips to make her orgasm. . . . what you might be missing.
Sex is fun. Romance is also fun. So make every encounter with your lover a fun and exiting activity. Stop and think about what you are trying to achieve.
Preparation is what will gear you for the experience that sets the mood. If you are just hoping that “it will work” its like hoping that you get good results at school. So preparation is the key that will gear you up for a mind-blowing and memorable experience with the person you love and desire.
6 – Ways of making your body be more desirable for a woman
If you would like your partner to do all of those exotic pleasurable things that you constantly fantasize about, then here are a few tips that you really should consider.
- If you wash before sex you will smell a lot nicer to your partner during sex and she will enjoy your company a whole lot more.
- Take a shower earlier on. You don’t want to smell like a bear, do you? Some couples enjoy showering together as part of foreplay.
- If you are a sort of hairy guy, consider shaving some of the undergrowth She might just appreciate it.
- Brush your teeth and use some mouthwash, especially if you are a smoker. Most girls don’t like kissing an astray. . . . Use your favourite aftershave.
If you get into these good habits your girl will never be put off by what may be something that gets overlooked in the heat of the moment. Trimmed pubic hair shows that the guy is looking after himself. Shaving your back or chest as some men do, will only have your hair re grow and for a time it will be prickly, which is very uncomfortable for your special lady.
Some men are so hairy that their whole back and chest is covered with hair. Some women love hairy guys and can feel very safe and secure with their hairy caveman. Each man has a potential mate out there and needs to be secure in the fact that the right woman will love you the way you are on the exterior.
Ideas for planning and having more pleasurable experiences
Before a massage don’t have a heavy meal have a snack instead then do the erotic massaging. Then have your meal as a break and return afterwards with a bath, so you can both relax and set the mood for the next phase.
· Having a heavy meal before sex will only make you drowsy, the mood can drop or totally disappear without you even realizing, so don’t over eat.
· See if she’d like you to buy her some sexy bra and panties, encourage her to put them on so she can see the appreciation and lust and on your face, otherwise it will stop being sexy.
· Massaging is a great way to get her to relax and for both of you to enjoy some pre sex mood making . Take some time to improve your massaging skills and encourage her to do it for you as well. .
· Aromatic candles work well with a bath and have lots of clean towels handy. You will need them.
· Make a habit of buying a bottle of something you both enjoy. Remember, Alcohol is a mood enhancer not the focus. · Be inventive and creative. Girls love novelty and the unexpected.
· Its important to have the feel alive feeling always present so focus on what is important and stay “switched on”
· Passion can stagnate if you go too slow and vanish if you go too fast. Timing is everything .to time . . . .
Idea: Have you ever considered using sex toys. They can be great mood setters (and fun) .
What Turns your Partner On?
There are generally several types of women:
The ‘Princess’. She likes you to treat her like a princess meaning you can never do enough for her. The ‘Cinderella’. Who wants to be rescued by her prince. Then there’s the ‘Goddess’ who wants you to worship her and will behave like she’s unreachable.’ The Drama Queen’ (which applies to both sexes) and s/he likes to perform to get attention at any time, always a bit of a hand full.
Spent some time working out what “type” your lady is; It pays off.. You need to decide how to best treat her.
Whether you are going to indulge her in all her whims, or if you just indulge her on special occasions, perhaps draw her attention to how her behavior affects your day to day relationship.
She wants to see how you express your passion to her
Women do like attention from their man and they love when that attention is genuine. Passion communicates to your woman that you are interested in her, that you enjoy her company and want to be close to her.
She pays attention, you express your intentions. Whether you express this occasionally with flowers or dinner and especially the little things you do like being attentive to her needs. Some men might think this means constantly buying her things like clothes or jewelry. . . .
But its not what you buy that counts, it’s the way you are attentive to her. Its the way you express your maleness and consideration. This can be in the small things you do, like noticing what she likes and doesn’t like. When you express the things you are sensitive and passionate about and share this with your partner/lover, she will naturally become more interested and sensitive to you. The less you express and share with her, the less she will feel loved and appreciated.
Its no good saying “but I don’t know what to say or express”. If you attend a football match with a couple of close friends, you would not have to think about what to say to them or what conversations might be appropriate.
Just relax and be yourself. After all that’s who you are and that will allow her to relax and be herself with you too.
Why women are moody
Girls love to be emotionally involved. They love to experience the totality of their emotions on all levels. Dogs bark, clouds rain and women get moody. Get used to it. If she is in a strange or bad mood, ask her to talk about it. Don’t take no for an answer. You are emotionally involved with her so learn to talk about stuff. Put your cards on the table and encourage her to do the same. She will love you for it.
If you have some bad habits……and try hiding them, this will be like a wedge in your relationship. Everyone eventually picks up that something is not sitting right. They may not be able to articulate right away, but that is when the relationship begins to go astray. So be open and try and discuss this, you will be surprised how supportive your woman can be to you.
Women love shopping, this is a given, so take her shopping and simply observe her rather than think that this means you have to buy her the things she might hint about, or its going to bore you. The best time to accompany her shopping is when you want to give her a bit of a treat, she will adore you for the attention that you will give her.
If you choose to indulge her fancy and go shopping with her however, it’s a good idea to let her know what your patience limit is, and re view this each time. As long as you set the boundaries first, it will be enjoyable otherwise its going to drive you nuts.
Setting boundaries makes things easier in the long run and will see that this will serve to modify how she will relate to you and she will see you as being supportive and involved rather than lacking passion or being disinterested.
I hope that these tips will help you to become the kind of lover and partner that want to be. Remember……learn a bit at a time. Its natural to make some mistakes along the way.
Don’t punish yourself when something didn’t go exactly the way you planned. You are only human. By learning from your mistakes you will keep on getting better…..Good luck.